Thursday, February 11, 2010

My Glimmer of Hope

The things that gives me hope when I am faced with the realization that I have spent 52 years being religious and 2 years walking through deliverance of religious mindsets and other demonic strongholds are:

  • Even when I was deeply steeped in religion without knowing any better, I felt the Spirit tell me that there was MORE. God loved me even when I was dead wrong.
  • The Apostle Paul. The Apostle Paul was the supreme religious person before he was saved. He was zealous for religion to the point of killing Christians, thinking that He was serving God with all His heart. He was the human definition of pride. Yet, God very thoroughly converted Him, causing Him to have revelations that are beyond most human's experience and caused Him to write incredible letters that are a major part of the scriptures in the New Testament. He was so converted that he was missionary to Gentiles and actually LOVED THEM.
I don't know how much of my past life actually would be counted toward righteousness in God's eyes. I feel His love and I feel confident that He can do a good work in me so that I can please Him.
So Lord convert me thoroughly so that I can be pleasing to you.

1 comment:

  1. Jan,

    I appreciate your sharing this. I feel like in many ways I'm very much in this deeply-steeped religion place.

    This afternoon I was thinking about my friendships here and I realized I have a tendency to be self-righteous, though I'm not righteous, la! I think some of it is I'm at a loss of control (ha!) and note that some of my friendships at this time are being transformed. Maybe feeling a bit more distant, I am missing community but when I have been around them have held back in intimacy and honesty preferring (out of fear?) to keep conversation and proximity to just being surface level.

    I feel like daily I operate out of religiosity, out of do's and don'ts' that I can't possibly keep in and of myself... and that I push these ways of thinking on others. But I sense, clearly, that God is calling me to operate in freedom, to teach, worship and be in a place of freedom. Wanting me to operate in a higher degree of supernatural in His word and in action. Mmmm.

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